Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have
by Raven Agbisit
Summary: Without Taking Her Close Off. AU In Progress. not a songfic. At the start of the summer holidays Severus gets a shock when the new Defense teacher and his family arrive. This summer promises to be interesting at least when children come to play.
1. Chapter 1

Disclamer. if you recognise it i dont own it. so :P

This is has not been beta'd, message me if you want the honor or if you spot something I can fix and you are nice about it, otherwise i really dont wanna hear about my horrid spelling, I can tell you know I failed english class since 6th grade (not really sure how i graduated, but i did).

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><p><strong>Six years in Absence<strong>

Severus Snape was having a bad day, not that any day had by him was particularly good for sometime now but today took the cake. It was the last day of term which at one point was his favorite time of year: No more dunderhead children, no more explosions, no more coworkers. It was also a darker day for him for the past few years.

He made his way back to his rooms scowling. The bubbly students didn't seem to notice as much as they used to. Thinking to himself he had to admit that this was possibly the reason for his mood, the lack of fear. He stormed into his apartment and over to the liquor cabinet. He grabbed a bottle of fire whiskey and a cup, pouring himself a nice large cup of the stuff.

His whole body shuttered as he took the first drink. He couldn't believe that it had been six years already, it felt as if it were yesterday. Sure it was six years since the fall of Voldemort but that wasn't what he had on his mind. Six years ago today she ended it.

**Flashback**

Severus was in his classroom getting things in order for next year, thinking of what he hoped would happen with his life. Voldemort was finally dead for good and now he could move on with his life. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn't hear the door open.

"Severus..." said a voice filled with sadness, "we need to talk."

Startled Severus looked up. After a moment of silence between them he realized that she was waiting for him to reply.

"OK, so, talk." On the outside his voice and face betrayed nothing but the calmness he always showed but inside he was scared as soon as he heard her utter the for most dreaded words that one person in a relationship can say to the other.

"Sev, its just right now we both want different things from this relationship, and I want- no need, commitment. I know you aren't looking for that right now and I realized I don't like the secrecy anymore. I used to love the romance behind that but now I have to hide how I feel from everyone and I wont do that anymore." she sighed, pushing a brown curl away from her eyes. "I cant see you after today. I need more then your willing to give, I'm sorry but this is goodbye."

After saying this she walked up and kissed his cheek before leaving, getting ready for her graduation.

Slowly recovering from shock Severus' hand went into his pocket and took out a small simple black box, opening it, revealing a small but elegant engagement ring.

**End Flashback**

After he finished his glass of fire whiskey, he went to his room and sat on the bed, contemplating. He opened the side table drawer and pulled out the same shoe box he pulled out every year. It was filled with pictures and newspaper clippings, along with a lone dry flower and of course the small black box that held the ring.

It was safe to say that he didn't get over his feelings. After a few minutes of looking over the content of the shoe boxes he gathered it all up and put it away, collapsing on his bed, falling fast asleep.

The next morning he went to breakfast (after a much needed hangover potion). The first breakfast after term was also the time to turn in resignations, talk about possible replacements, propose next years head boy and girl, etc.

Slowly picking at his food Severus listened about how Madam Prince wanted to retire as did Madam Pomfry. Other then that there was the ever present Defense Against the Dark Arts position to fill... again. The only difference about this year is that there was no discussion about the DADA position. Albus just told everyone that the new professor will be there sometime later that day.

As Severus was leaving the hall something small and human ran straight into his legs. The child had longish black hair that was wavy. He also had chocolate eyes and pale skin.

"Sage, Must you run about? You never know-" At this the woman who must be the child's mother ceased her scolding. He could feel her eyes on him and he looked up at her. As their eyes met it felt as if he were hit by a ton of bricks. She was back. Her hair long brown and curly, her robes hugging her curves, her eyes, the same shade as the little boys, staring at him in shock.

"Hermione" he breathed, eying her once more hearing a breathy "Severus" in reply. Just then a man with messy, black hair and bright green eyes came up and wrapped his arms around Hermione. He looked between the two of them and the child, then sighed. "What has he done now?" He asked, snapping everyone out of their thoughts. Hermione smiled and said.

"Oh nothing Harry, we were just getting reacquainted with the professor. Isn't that right Professor Snape?"

Severus snorted at this. "Yeah, if you call having some spawn running into me is getting reacquainted then sure." Harry rolled his eyes at Snape, then speaking to the child.

"Sage, what have I told you about running? You could have tripped and hurt yourself your someone else. Your lucky it was just Professor Snape. Now apologize right now."

"Sorry Mister Professor Sir." the brown eyed boy said.

Just then Severus noticed a little girl hiding behind Hermione's legs as she stuck her head out to tease her brother "ha ha you got in twuble by both mommy and daddy"

Sage promptly stuck his tongue out at her.

Severus looked back at the parents and made eye contact with Harry. "Mister Potter, had I known that you and your spawn would be here I would have made it a point to stay in my rooms." He then looked into Hermione's eyes "Ah Miss Granger. A pleasant surprise. I must admit I have never had a more knowledgeable and _intriguing_ student since you have left. A pity really." At this he smirked a knowing smirk and she blushed lightly.

"Really Professor Snape, you know that Harry and I got married. I am no longer Miss Granger. You may call me Hermione thou, we are colleges now. I agree that it is a pity that students aren't as excited about learning as I was and still am but I believe if everyone was that enthusiastic you would lose your fun of tormenting the students, am I right?"

That piece of information shocked Severus. *colleagues? Oh she must mean that potter here is the new Defense professor. How fantastic* he thought sarcastically.

"You will always be Miss Granger to me. If I am to call you Hermione then I insist you call me Severus, and I believe you are right. Although I wouldn't have to scare the children if they could figure out that potions are dangerous and not something to be messed with lightly. Well it seems the library will never be empty now that the Gryffindor know-it-all is back." Severus replied still smirking using his nickname for her from years past.

"Hey now no need to resort to name calling here Snape." Harry interjected.

Albus chose this moment to come up to the bunch. "Ah Harry, Hermione how are you? And who is this?" he asked seeing Sage. Remembering the manners his mother taught him Sage formally introduced himself.

"Hi mister. My name is Sage Thomas Granger-Potter"

not to be out done by her brother the little girl came out and said "and I'm Selena Lilly Granger-Potter, ow do you do?" all the adults laughed and Albus replied "since I know you names I shall give you mine. I'm Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledore, but you may call me Albus or Dumbledore."

Tired of watching this exchange Severus maneuvered his way around everyone.

"As much as I love talking to you all I must get going. It was a pleasure to see you again Hermione. Albus, I will see you later. Mr. Potter."

After that he turned swiftly making his way to the dungeons lost in though.

-Hermione's–P-O-V-

Watching him stalk away like that brought back memories. She knew coming back would be bad but it was truly time.

**Flashback**

Nervously she held onto the home pregnancy test. All she had to do was drink the potion and wait for her stomach to glow white, blue or pink.

"Hermione, you know whatever happens, you still have me." Harry said.

Hermione had slept with harry one night about a month before. That night they were both drinking and reminiscing on the past. Talking about all the trouble they had gotten into in previous years. Laughing about Ron and his new girlfriend, whom he was with now. Both of them excited and scared about the war. The final battle was coming and they both knew it. Comforting each other about the fear of fighting. Now the fighting was over, and she was late.

Harry bought her the test and vowed to be there for her if she had conceived. What he didn't know was that Hermione had been seeing Severus for the past few months.

She drank the potion with a grimace at the taste and stared at her stomach. After about a minute her stomach started to glow, a soft lavender. She quickly snatched up the instructions and read. With a tear in her eye she looked up at Harry and breathed one word. "Twins"

At that moment she knew what she had to do; she stood up, excused herself and went to look for Severus.

**End Flashback**

Hermione came back to reality, meeting the questioning gazes of the twins and Harry, and a knowing look from Albus.

Blushing Hermione asked Albus "OK, so where are we staying? I would like to unpack before lunch."

Albus smiled and started to lead the family to their quarters, chatting with the kids, Hermione and Harry hung back a little, just out of ear shot.

"What was that all about back there Hermione? Why in the hell was Snape being nice to you?" He demanded.

"I don't know what your talking about Harry. Maybe unlike some people I don't provoke him, and I never have. Understandably he has to be harsh with his classes but now we are co-workers he has no reason to be like that with me. Maybe if you tried to be nice he would be nice to you to."

"Don't give me that bullish-"

At that moment they were interrupted by Albus.

"Here we are. Just let me know how you like it, the password is 'poly-juice'. I figured you would like the reference. Feel free to change the password to whatever."

"Thank you for everything Professor Dumbledore" Harry said, Albus cut him off. "I am no longer your professor, call me Albus."

Hermione laughed "That is going to take some getting used to."

As Albus walked off, the family went threw the portrait hole. Inside was covered in beautiful deep reds and brilliant golds, a lot like the Gryffindor common room. With mahogany furniture and a warm fire place the rooms felt like home already.

As the kids talked about how they wanted their rooms to look Harry was talking to Hermione.

"Seriously Hermione. What was that about? That man has never been nice to anyone, let alone a person who was never in Slytherin."

"Harry, the man almost died. Maybe he matured a bit since the last time you've seen him."

Harry thought about this and remembered that near fatal experiences have been known to change people, it just seemed so unlike the Snape he remembered that it was hard to imagine.

"Maybe your right. He might have changed."


	2. Chapter 2

I dont own HP. not beta ed so any help is welcome.

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

**Snape's POV**

Stalking back to his rooms, all he could think about how Hermione had ended up with potter. 'I should have guessed, just like old times, I fall for a woman and she ends up with potter.' That thought made him think about Lilly, whom he had not thought of in over half a decade. Thinking of her and Hermione mad him realize just how pathetic he was really being. 'well there is a difference between Lilly and Hermione, Hermione is still alive and I can get her back.', suddenly he remembered Sage and Selena. 'Those pesky brats are going to stand in my way, knowing Hermione she would stay with Potter for her children sake, if nothing else' he mused to himself. He thought back to a conversation between himself and Hermione before she left.

**flashback**

They were relaxing with some post-coital cuddling, when _tap tap tap _was heard from the window. Severus looked up and saw his raven, Edger, with some mail. Reluctantly he got up to let in his familiar. Edger swooped in and landed on the night stand, holding out his claw expectantly, as he did everyday. Severus had long since had enough of his coworkers nosing into his business, especially his spying duties, so he set it up with his raven to hold all his mail until a time he was in his rooms. He went over and untied the bundle of letters along with today's daily profit and then sat at his desk, reading the important letters.

Hermione got up off the bed and walked behind where Severus was sitting. With one hand she stroked his hair and with her other hand she picked up the Daily Profit. After a few minutes of quiet reading she broke the silence, startling Severus.

"What are your thoughts on children Sev?"

To say that Severus was surprised was an understatement. Then it occurred to him that he had not thought about children. Now that he thought about it, the thought didn't appall him as much as it once might, surely it would be after the war but he could see himself with little ones, as long as they were Hermione's. Severus quickly composed himself, 'its foolish to think thoughts like that when I might not be around after the war. I better not get her hopes up'

Hermione was staring at him, waiting.

"I don't see the need to complicate ones life further by bringing children into the mix, why do you ask?"

Hermione showed the Daily Profit in front of him and on the front page was a story about a ground breaking infertility potion.

"I don't know, I was reading this and the thought occurred to me that it was one thing I didn't know about you, and you know me and my quest for knowledge." Hermione brushed off, laughing.

Severus looked up at her with a quirked eyebrow, "Is there anything else you wish to know about me?" he asked with a seductive smirk.

"Hold that thought Mr. Snape. I have two nosy friends I have to meet up with soon or they will send out search parties claiming I have been kidnapped by death eaters, or worse, they could use that bloody map to try and find me." Hermione giggled and kissed him on the nose.

Severus sighed defeated. "Well if you must."

**end flashback**

Since that day, Snape couldn't get it out of his head what the children would look like. In some fantasies they had strait brown hair with black eyes and Hermione's skin tone and nose, and other times they were just about the opposite. It was thinking this that Snape decided that he would be nice and try and win over the kids, so that he could even have a chance with her.

It was with that in mind he spent the next few hours debating with himself, just how to approach them until it was time to have lunch at the Great Hall.

Lunch, as it turned out, seemed to be quite an interesting assortment of people. A lot of teachers had left after the breakfast to head home for a few weeks break. Even with fewer teachers Albus had insisted that everyone who was at the castle come to lunch.

Professor Snape walked into the Great Hall at exactly twelve noon. As soon as he was inside he noticed that the giant professors table at the head of the great hall had been replaced by a twelve seated table, trying to encourage talking among those who were here. In the Headmaster's chair he naturally saw Albus who was in a lively conversation with Professor Sprout on his right, as she tried to ignore the continuously drunk Professor Trewlany. To Albus's left was Professor Magonagal who was debating some sort of magical theory of healing with Professor Flitwick and Madam Pomfry. The only one at the table right now not talking was Hagrid who was also just trying to avoid conversation with Trewlany.

Professor Snape being who he is naturally tried to avoid everyone by sitting in the middle of the remaining seats, leaving two on each side.

Ten minutes into the lunch, Harry, Hermione and their kids came threw the door.

"Sorry we are late everyone, we were just getting settled in." Hermione said with a smile.

"Ah Harry, Hermione, come, come. We must make introductions" Albus said beaming. As Hermione looked at the table she realized that her, Harry and the kids couldn't all sit together and it seemed Severus would be in the middle of the bunch.

"Everyone, I assume you all remember Harry and Hermione, Harry agreed to be this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and his family has come as well. I shall leave you to introduce your children."

"Thank you. Everyone this princess is Selena Lilly, and the little tyke over by his mother is Sage Thomas." Harry announced. Selena blushed and hid behind her father as he told everyone her name, while Sage waved to the professors. After the introductions everyone paused for a second, trying to figure out where everyone would sit. Finally, showing more Gryffindor courage than most people twice his age, Sage marched up to Professor Snape.

"'Scuse me, may I sit here?" He asked, just as his mother taught him.

All eyes where on them, no one was moving a mussel as they waited for the reply from the resident potions master. Severus looked down at the little boy, then up to his parents who were looking as if they would be ill at any second. 'This is the perfect opportunity to open up communications with the boy, hopefully he thinks about more then just Quidditch.'

"Since you asked so politely, yes you may." He replied, much to the shock of everyone in the room, except one. Hermione smiled slightly at the exchange. Sage climbed up onto the chair to Snape's right, with Hermione sitting between Sage and Madam Pomfry. Harry ended up between Selena and Severus, to make sure to keep an eye on Severus. With everyone seated, people soon went on with their own conversations. Sage stayed quiet for the most part but seemed to be bursting to start talking. Every attempt he made to engage his mom in a conversation ended up with her telling him to settle down and eat. Finally he had enough of not talking and looked over to Professor Snape.

"Sir, my dad told me that everyone here is a teacher, is that true? If so, what do you teach? Also, what should I call you by?" Although he had a small voice, the entire table once again stopped as if he had shouted out profanities. Severus could once again feel everyone's eyes on him, silently begging him not to be snarky with this young child. He was about to answer when he was cut off by Potter.

"Sage, you shouldn't bother people you don't know, when they are eating. It isn't polite."

"But daddy, everyone else is talking to people and no one is talking to me. They aren't talking to him ether, so I thought that it would be OK to talk to him. Besides, I was just wondering."

Before Harry could tell Sage not to talk back to him Snape stepped in.

"Really Potter, it's fine," he then turned to sage and said, "Well it seems that your father was actually right about something. Yes I am a teacher, and I would prefer it if you would call me ether Professor Snape, Professor or simply Sir. I teach potions." As he said the last word, he saw the lights in Sage's eyes go brighter. The other teachers noticed that he would at least be civil to the boy and slowly went back to their own conversations.

"Are you really?" Sage asked "Mommy lets me help with potions at home, only adding ingredients and stirring and stuff though. She always thinks I will get hurt if I do anything else. Do you have your own lab? Whats the hardest potion you ever made? Have you ever expl-" Severus cut him off by raising a hand, smirking.

"One question at a time, I don't see how you can expect me to answer any question if you don't give me time to." At this, Sage blushed and ducked his head, muttering "Sorry, sir." Sage only looked up again when he heard Professor Snape start talking again.

"Now to answer your questions, yes I really am the Potions Master. Yes I have my own potions lab, several in fact. The hardest potion I have ever brewed would have to be Felix Felisis and to answer your partial question; yes I have blown up my fair share of caldrons and once or twice an entire room. Potions is a very dangerous art. Your mother is right about limiting your help until you are more trained." He looked up at Hermione and their eyes met.

"One of these days, may I help you? I promise not to get in the way and I would do anything you asked me to, or if that is too much to ask, may I at least watch you?"

Ignoring him for a moment, Snape asked Hermione "Is he always this inquisitive?"

Hermione laughed nervously and replied "only when the subject is potions. He seems to have a natural talent that I'm not sure where it came from."

He returned his attention to the young boy, who was looking at him big eyes and his lower lip pouted out just a bit. "You would like to help me in the lab?" Snape asked. The rest of the room once again focused all of their attention on the pair. It was a widely known fact that Severus never allowed anyone to help him brew, unless absolutely necessary and only those he trusted fully.

Sages eyes went impossibly bigger and his lower lip jutted out further, silently begging to be allowed. Snape took his eyes off the boy again and looked at Hermione to see what she thought. As if reading his thoughts she nodded her permission.

"I don't see why we couldn't arrange something between your parents and I, to allow you time in my lab." Snape said, much to the shock and awe of the others at the table.

Just then another little voice floated up to everyones attention. "Um… Sir, If it wouldn't be any trouble do you think that I may help out also? Im not that good but potions are fascinating." Everyone turned their attention to Selena, who had just spoken. Before Severus could say anything Harry spoke. "Lets talk about this later then."

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><p>Reviews are welcome, as well as any ideas. I wont promise to use them but will credit those who help me get past my writers block, also I dont know when i will post next but will say this will not be abandoned<p> 


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